Christmas for Tasha

My mother has the most annoying dog ever. It's a Pappilion and I suspect they were made to be cute but annoying by some sort of passive aggressive dog breeder in 17th century Mongolia. Or wherever. My mom spends more time and money on Tasha than she does on herself. The dog is her new hobby. She's read every dog caretaking, training and informational book she can find and watched every episode of the dog whisperer. And this is not my mother's first dog. I looked through one of her books that described how to give a dog a bath and asked her "really mom, you need instructions? It already says everything you know". But she claims to enjoy reading about it so ok. My parents both complain that she sheds a lot, for chrissake she weighs 7 pounds and gets groomed once a week. I'd hate to die and leave them with my German Shepherd and Yellow lab because they'd probably set the house ablaze after resolving that it could never be clean again due to all the dog hair. My dad, especially fastidious about cleanliness, is constantly rolling tape across himself and keeps the lintroller handy next to his chair.

Tasha is a yapper. And she never stops moving. Ever. If you sit down and relax she stands on the floor in front of you and "marches" in place while looking at you. She probably learned this from my brother (who is also hyper). So I'm going to take a wild guess and say hyperactivity is how Tasha ended up at the humane society in the first place. Now the yapping seems to escalate when my brother is "home from college". He has an apartment and goes to UMSL, probably 20 miles away, but comes home every weekend. Vince and I find him an enigma. But that's a story for another day. Anyway my brother, being a big guy, never treads lightly, and his stomping up and down the stairs or across the floor, his sudden bursts of loud speech all send Tasha into a tizzy. So basically from Friday to Sunday, anytime my brother is not sleeping, Tasha is barking.

I went to Petsmart today and while getting my dogs' food I found the perfect gift for Tasha: Anti-Bark collars! There was a large assortment, shock, vibrate, sonic, spray and they were all locked in a case requiring a manager to bring a key. Now I've already suggested to my mom that she get the shock collar to no avail for she considers them cruel and I consider them perhaps cruel but only while the dog is barking, so as long as the dog isn't barking...see my point? I ask the manager to show me the vibrating anti-bark collar. He informs me that I will bring it back, "no one is ever happy with these", he says, "or the sonic sound collars". I figured as much, damn. It was going to be the perfect gift! But wait, there was the spray collar. I had already decided a spray collar wouldn't work but he tells me they work well by spraying a bit of citronella when the dog barks. I got it, and it wasn't cheap, but it will be a gift for the whole family. I'm giving them the gift of a yap-free, and possibly an insect free, household. We'll see how it goes and I tell you, I could not wipe the gleeful smile off my face as I purchased the collar, I smiled maniacly all the way home. I can't wait for Christmas Day.