Went to main street

St. Charles in an annual lunch and shopping with Vince's mom and sister and aunts and female cousins. It was way to crowded I was so sad. I look forward to our lunch and shopping outing all year. Also my mother went with us for the first time this year. She ordered an O'Doul's and that's always a little embarassing to me. I mean if you're pregnant and at a bar-be-que and normally a beer drinker and just are dying for the taste then fine. But it was 11 am, we were at a luncheon, my mother is not a drinker, someone ordered a bloody mary and so my mom wanted to be cool too and got the O'Doul's. Then after discussing the menu with everyone around her she asked what the soup was. And that was it for me, I was fully annoyed. Does your mother do little things to drive you nuts? We took her out to dinner once before and she told the waitress she just wanted "something little", to which our waitress stood in silence not sure how to reply to that. Then she awkwardly commented on a bejewled sweater Vince's aunt Bonnie was wearing. "you really can wear that all winter and not just for christmas!". It's hard to explain but I like my mom better when she's just with me and we can discuss woodpeckers and river levels and other assorted nerdy things without embarassing ourselves.

So after lunch we tried walking in and out of the stores but I couldn't take the no elbow room crowds in the tiny shops and we opted to just go home, I did get my sophie an awesome outfit so all was not lost. On our way home we stopped by her house and picked up Tasha, who got so excited to see my mom that she had an asthma attack for a full 10 minutes (this according to my mother is called a 'backwards' sneeze), according to the vet it is perfectly fine but still it's hard to watch a little dog gasping for air all from the excitement of my mother walking in the door. "It's a trait of this breed", mom says and again I think of the passive aggressive 17th century Mongolian (or what-have-you) dog breeder who not only made a cute but annoying dog but made one that occassionaly can't breathe it gets so excited.

Christmas for Tasha

My mother has the most annoying dog ever. It's a Pappilion and I suspect they were made to be cute but annoying by some sort of passive aggressive dog breeder in 17th century Mongolia. Or wherever. My mom spends more time and money on Tasha than she does on herself. The dog is her new hobby. She's read every dog caretaking, training and informational book she can find and watched every episode of the dog whisperer. And this is not my mother's first dog. I looked through one of her books that described how to give a dog a bath and asked her "really mom, you need instructions? It already says everything you know". But she claims to enjoy reading about it so ok. My parents both complain that she sheds a lot, for chrissake she weighs 7 pounds and gets groomed once a week. I'd hate to die and leave them with my German Shepherd and Yellow lab because they'd probably set the house ablaze after resolving that it could never be clean again due to all the dog hair. My dad, especially fastidious about cleanliness, is constantly rolling tape across himself and keeps the lintroller handy next to his chair.

Tasha is a yapper. And she never stops moving. Ever. If you sit down and relax she stands on the floor in front of you and "marches" in place while looking at you. She probably learned this from my brother (who is also hyper). So I'm going to take a wild guess and say hyperactivity is how Tasha ended up at the humane society in the first place. Now the yapping seems to escalate when my brother is "home from college". He has an apartment and goes to UMSL, probably 20 miles away, but comes home every weekend. Vince and I find him an enigma. But that's a story for another day. Anyway my brother, being a big guy, never treads lightly, and his stomping up and down the stairs or across the floor, his sudden bursts of loud speech all send Tasha into a tizzy. So basically from Friday to Sunday, anytime my brother is not sleeping, Tasha is barking.

I went to Petsmart today and while getting my dogs' food I found the perfect gift for Tasha: Anti-Bark collars! There was a large assortment, shock, vibrate, sonic, spray and they were all locked in a case requiring a manager to bring a key. Now I've already suggested to my mom that she get the shock collar to no avail for she considers them cruel and I consider them perhaps cruel but only while the dog is barking, so as long as the dog isn't barking...see my point? I ask the manager to show me the vibrating anti-bark collar. He informs me that I will bring it back, "no one is ever happy with these", he says, "or the sonic sound collars". I figured as much, damn. It was going to be the perfect gift! But wait, there was the spray collar. I had already decided a spray collar wouldn't work but he tells me they work well by spraying a bit of citronella when the dog barks. I got it, and it wasn't cheap, but it will be a gift for the whole family. I'm giving them the gift of a yap-free, and possibly an insect free, household. We'll see how it goes and I tell you, I could not wipe the gleeful smile off my face as I purchased the collar, I smiled maniacly all the way home. I can't wait for Christmas Day.

Fruit roll-ups, you can't eat just one.

So today is my typical day with the kids and because I'm always interested in how other mother's spend their time I'll try and post mine and see how it goes.

The day starts with daddy leaving for work while everyone is still sleeping. Poor daddy, no big hugs or waves goodbye to send him off. The only communication I have with him this early in the morning is a nudge with my foot so he turns off the alarm. Occassionally I need to give him directions on where to find clean pants but since I enjoy sleeping until the kids wake up I usually make sure all of his laundry is done first and foremost.

Timmy also gets up and leaves on his own, even before Vince wakes up. God love the child but I'm not a mom who gets up and cooks him breakfast at 5 a.m. and he's not a kid who wants to eat that early anyway. Plus he's in high school so weaning him off of depending on me to provide all his meals has begun. Eventually he will cook, but like a typical teen, not until he gets desperate enough. And desperation is what we're working toward :-)

The little kids get up and immediately need juice. I don't know what makes toddler's so thirsty and I've never read about it in any parenting book but all children under five drink a lot. My brother did, Vincent is just starting to grow out of it and Sophie does, Timmy did too. So I have a bunch of sippy cups and plenty of white grape juice on hand at all times. **mommy tip: White grape does not contain as much sucrose as other juices (including apple) and is much easier on their digestion.

Baby Bren wakes up to nurse about 7 am but will then sleep until 10 or 11. I am guessing this will be his morning nap time as he gets older. I am not a pancake and bacon maker. If I did all that in the morning I wouldn't get to start any projects until noon. So we have bagels or PBJ in the morning.

Then the diapers are changed, everyone gets dressed and my projects begin. Most days I spend at least an hour in the kitchen cleaning, putting things away...it takes an hour due to a lot of interruptions, but I always feel like the day can start when the kitchen is tidy. On Mondays I start laundry which carries over to tuesday. Some people do a load a day or keep up with it that way but I prefer to do it all at once. Typically there are at least 10 loads. Figuring that we probably make one load a day in clothes and a couple loads extra for towels and bed linens that is how we get to 10. **mommy tip: Sort and conquer. I find sorting out colors from a giant pile of clothes takes up more time than sorting it all at the beginning. While I do the laundry I watch all my shows that I DVR to watch when Vince is at work.

Since we don't get up until 9 or 10 we don't eat lunch until about 1:30 and that's usually sandwiches or leftovers or cheese and fruit. And I take a "lunch break" while I eat to watch a show. Normally I don't watch TV all day except for this time and then after Vince gets home from work. I am always trying to get ahead on the housework. Trying being the key word here. I usually try and put Sophie down for a nap and since she climbs out of her crib I sometimes fail entirely to get her to actually sleep and give up but usually I put her back in the crib 3 or 4 times and if it takes then great if not she goes to bed earlier that night.

My day is broken up by stopping to nurse the baby or check my email and facebook. Those little breaks are needed because being home with little ones all day and doing housework is tedious and lonely. Not that it isn't rewarding to raise your children this way but it does have it's downside, like everything does. **mommy tip on naps: With my first two kids I didn't realize this and I'm happy to pass this on. Despite the fact that your baby sleeps on and off all day I still think they need naps. Especially if your baby is the type that wants to fuss all evening. For me a nap is to feed the baby, swaddle then lay him/her down in a cool and quiet room. Let them fuss a bit, re-insert pacifier a couple times and then once they are asleep close the door and go away. I SWEAR they can sense you in the room (even if you just walk through) and this wakes them up. Naps like this typically start for us at about 6 weeks old. From 3 to 5 in the evening for a happier baby until bedtime. I think a solid couple hours of sleep are more fulfilling to baby than the typical on and off napping and hence they are better rested when they wake up.

Recently I have started "homeschooling" preschool with Vincent and Sophie. We have an easel with a chalkboard and I use that and have them sit on a little rug while we go through the alphabet and numbers and math and shapes. They absolutely eat this up! Only at a certain age are children receptive to sitting still and paying attention and we do this for about 30 minutes until they start to get active and want to do something else. I don't pressure, I make it fun, because basically we all learned our shapes, colors and numbers in due time. It's not rocket science and it's something little humans pick up naturally even if you don't teach them. But school time is fun for us and it makes me feel better than we have some specific learning time in our day. Sometimes I look back and feel guilty that our days go by so unstructured with me concentrating more on the vacuum than the kids. I'll admit that it's very easy to be annoyed that kids are always underfoot instead of realizing that you're there for the kids and should include them in your day.

So darn this was a long post, Sophie and I worked our way through an entire box of fruit roll-ups as I wrote it. It's not a funny story but I hope it was interesting enough :-) I don't proofread, sorry but I have to pick up Timmy from weight training now :-)

The Budweiser outfit

As if anything could be more hoosier...

But look at that PRECIOUS baby!

The most domestic St. Patty's Day ever

So here it is St. Patty's Day. it's 12 a.m. and I am so mind-numbingly bored I've decided to post on my blog for the first time in months. This is what I get for taking a three hour nap today. Van has already retired to bed with a toothache.
So tonight Van gets home from work dons a green sweater and some Shamrock Mardi Gras beads drinks a couple Guiness Beers and we take off to a Bar/Restaurant called Dooley's. We've not only got our own two children but we have a friend along for our 9 year-old. Now I know what Van is thinking. He's thinking "I'll park the family at a table in the non-smoking section and get up on the pretense of 'needing to go have a smoke' so I can peruse the bar area for friends." Well we get to Dooley's, the children are uber-hyper in the backseat and, of course, it's packed. Van goes inside to "check on the wait" and after about 15 minutes (I have a feeling he was perusing for the afore mentioned friends) he comes back, looking downtrodden, because, of course, the wait is too long. Any wait over 15 minutes is too long for Van. So we head off in search of another restaurant with video games for the children...and a bar for Van.
We end up at Buffalo Wild Wings. Now we've been there once before and I had the "Jerk chicken sandwich"..from hell. and Van had the chicken wings that he didn't like and we resolved never to eat there again. But alas, here we were, walking in with two kids, a baby, and Van and his Mardi Gras beads. PAR-TAY.
So later, back in the truck, annoying children in the back seat, Van says "I think I'm getting crabby", which is immediately followed by his car giving us the "fuel-is-low" ding.
And that my friends, was St. Patty's Day '07.

Mini-Van

Pics are on the St. J's website for Oct. 4th.

Shopping with your mother

I forgot why I don't like to go shopping with my mother. So today, while shopping for the min-Van, I got a refresher course:
1. Mother drives 5 to 10 miles under the speed limit and never bothers to look in her rear view mirror to notice that someone is ALWAYS tailgating her. I should have driven yes, but I had also forgotten why I should drive when we're together.
2. When pulling into a large parking lot, mom has no ambition what-so-ever to find a "closer spot". Now I wouldn't mind walking if I didn't have what feels like a full sized van strapped to my waist. Mom doesn't even look for a closer spot. She simply pulls in and parks.
3. Mother INSISTED we would find the pajamas I wanted to get at Sears and I could NOT convince her otherwise. Sears, as expected was TERRIBLE.
4. Mom thinks pajamas should be satiny, floral, with a button down top and a collar. And a little pocket on the front for kleenex. She scoffed when I told her I preferred the black yoga pants and a t-shirt.
5. Mother cannot live with the idea that I might walk around my hospital room without a pair of slippers on. Socks just aren't good enough. I personally hate slippers as they make my feet hot. So I amused her by letting her pick out a "nice pair of slippers" for me, as she puts it. I'll wear them when she's there...
6. Mom is the most frugal woman EVER. She looks through the clearance sections like those are the only things for sale. And it's with absolute disdain, on her part, to buy anything, however inexpensive, that is not on sale. The woman isn't poor either for chrissake.
7. And the best part of my day was finding out that Mom had no clue how the whole "write in the tip on your restaurant reciept" thing worked when we went out to lunch. I have no idea how she's gotten this far in life NOT knowing how this works...as we are a society that likes to go out to eat, drink, what have you. After a brief explanation mom says loudly in front of the cashier "what's keeping someone from writing in a bigger amount". I say "that's just how we do it", like she's from another universe. She kind of is.

oh but what goes around comes around. My nine-year-old asked me not to talk during the open house visit at his school because I am "embarassing". Apparently it's not just talking but my very presence that's starting to embarass him.

people who exhaust me...

Let's stop with the "it was the goverment behind 9-11". Say it in a dopey voice. Think about it. If it doesn't make sense...it probably isn't true.

Does misplacing your coffee cup really warrant an "All Staff" e-mail asking everyone to check and see if they accidentally took an "old coffee cup with a lid". Oh shit, I've been drinking out of that ALL day because I thought maybe it was MY old, stained coffee cup with a lid off of a butter dish that just happens to fit. Stupid me.

Anytime you get an e-mail that says something to the effect of "forward this and so and so will get 3 cents from the such and such charity to pay for her siamese twin seperation surgery" please just ask yourself two questions: How and Why. I got one today about a kid with brain AND lung cancer. What the hell, was she snorting asbestos from birth? Or was it those agent orange baths grandma used to give to get the ticks off?

I need to place a bulk order of T-shirts that say "I'm what willis was talking about". Van told me about them. The world would be less exhausting to me if I saw more people wearing these.

People living in the twilight zone exhaust me. Namely, a one, grandma linda. Apparently my son was in diapers until he was 4 because I was too lazy to potty train him. Now let me ask you. WHO WANTS TO CLEAN UP A DIAPER OFF A 4 YEAR OLD? Potty training was practically one of my greatest parenting achievements of my life and will be right up there with the college graduation day or the army boot camp graduation day or whatever graduation day he decides to have! oh the thrill and the utter urge to go out and hug strangers because my son can crap in the toilet and wipe himself! It's much easier to be lazy when you don't have to change diapers Ms. Nutcase.

Ok, now I must eat some taquitos. TTFN.